Friday, January 06, 2012

Had To Steal This!!!

I stole this from a dude on my Facebook friends list. It's just too good.

Colonoscopies are no joke. But a physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. Take it easy Doc. You‚re boldly going where no man has gone before.
2. Find Amelia Earhart yet?
3. Can you hear me NOW?
4. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
5. You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.
6. Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?
7. You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...
8. Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!
9. If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.
11. You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?
And the best one of all:
12. Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laughs. Please re-post next January when I turn 50 and get to visit my doctor.

Anonymous said...

Had mine at 50. Funny stuff. I remember deflating all day after the event. It was best I did not go to work. One thing Dave did not mention is the bio-prep one must endure the day before. After the pills and witnessing the bottoms of innumerable Special Soda Pop bottle the contents of which is formulated to flush the system, my southern departure was dry-heave-heave-heave-heaving. Sorry, but 'tis the truth and "my precious" was at its vent's end by the end of that day. And, the prep nurses at the hospital all asked if my voidance was a faithful event. That was about as irritating to a beat-soft hungry man naked beneath a hospital gown carefully crafted to reveal only the no tan zones. But, I passed the periscope inspection at all depths and reaches. A non-event event, really, but the day before is altogether another tail.

-Joe C

Marshall Art said...

As there is a history of colon cancer in my family (my dad and his brother both died of it, and one of my sisters dealt with it as well), I am advised to test every two years. Haven't done it since I was laid off in '08, but I'm much more proactive with my health these days. But when I do go, I opt to be anesthetized, as I don't care to be conscious for the experience. I look at the choice as one between being probed or taking a nap. I choose to nap.