Wine Altered Thoughts On A Year So Deserving Of The Door Hitting It In The Ass Really Hard On It's Way Out.

I feel like a New Year's post is in order, but somehow I just don't feel I can put into words my current state of mind.  Despite starting a new life in another state with my beloved (and her cat), and enjoyment we're experiencing with all the novelty of our new digs and area, the year as a whole was pretty much crap.  It's a blatant example of what life normally is:  bullshit with some brief moments of extreme joy. 

The bullshit runs from the negative impact of the our current political situation, with a moron leading an administration chosen by box-checking instead of by pure merit and ability.  The harm to the nation from this administration continues as hard as from the first moment after the inauguration and I can't help but believe we haven't seen the worst of what this abject asshole is capable of bestowing upon a nation too stupid to acknowledge that only a shit show was likely.  He's delivered in spades and I don't know if the GOP majority come January will be able to do all that much to stand in the breech and mitigate the harm Biden will no doubt inflict on the nation.  (And there we were sittin' pretty as a nation before total jackasses threw it all away on the falsest of false pretenses.)

The bullshit of my personal life is too mundane to describe, but it's the constant nature of it which is so hard to bear.  It's pretty much been a daily thing with little respite.  I persevere because that's what men do.  I fall back on my faith and my relationship with my better half... because that's what men do.  Yet I feel as if the breaking point is right there in front of me because of the amount of bullshit.  You know how you can sometimes come just short of bumping into someone, and as you move right to avoid the person, the person moves in the same direction, and then you change to the left and the person does as well, and you both do this stupid dance for a few moments until one of you decides to just stop and let the other person pass?  Imagine never getting to that point, and the past year feels just like that. 

Of course, there's a part of me which seems to wallow in it, as in the case of the social media discussions in which I choose to engage.  Doing so is similar to knowing fire is hot but one still puts one's hand into the flames.  What the hell are you doing to yourself???  I'm thinking of begging off the social media for a week or two to see how much my mood is altered.  Don't know if I can, as I enjoy the opportunity to express my thoughts and opinions, but the thoughts and feelings of the very same asshats who have put the nation in its current dire state are those with whom normal people must eventually engage.  

Anyway, I'm thinking of doing a New Year's Resolutions post, and it won't be pretty.  After so many years of being accused of being an angry white man, I've actually become one and it's as if those who said that crap sought to make it a reality.  Not a good f**king idea.

If ever I needed my Lord, now might be my time of greatest need.