I like sex. I like it a lot. A whole lot. I like it very, very much. I enjoy it immensely and look forward to every opportunity. It's a wonderful way for a husband and wife to spend ten minutes.
OK, that last was a joke. I can go twelve, thirteen minutes easily. But the point is that it is between me and my wife. That's as it should be. Anything I did before marriage was not as it should be. Though it was fun.
But all jokes aside, at least for a bit, the problem I've been having at Geoff's, among others, is that I now am viewed by him and his, ah... um... "ilk" as something strange for the reason that I see sex for what it is, a selfish act of self-gratification. I see it, and the desire to engage in it, as the bane of our society. Geoffrey tells his very young daughter that it is a wonderful gift from God. I wonder if he feels the same for any spasm the body might produce. In any case, I requested Biblical support for that belief and at the time I began this post, I'd not seen such support. It's been a couple of days now, but perhaps he'll grace us with such here.
This discussion actually ran over a few of his posts, and without stopping here to go check for sure, I think it began at his post about JK Rowling "outing" Prof. Dumbledore. Naturally, this scholar of Biblical proportions thought that was just peachy and really nothing whatsoever over which anyone should have concern. I protested that I thought that such things are entirely inappropriate for young readers and why should such crap be put before them whilst they seek to enjoy their innocence. As it was not depicted openly in the books (from what I understand), what possible reason could there be for it anyway, except to promote the behavior as "normal"?
So began a back and forth about the goodness and holiness of sex and how it's natural and a beautiful thing that is shared in many different ways by many different people and how it's a wonderful expression of love.
CRAP AND NONSENSE!
But this is what he teaches his kids and as far as our debate, has expressed nothing regarding when it is appropriate and when it is sinful, which, for a semanarian and spouse of a preacher, seems rather lacking in the parental responsibility department. I don't know. Perhaps he simply neglected to add that to his rebuttal. I hope so. For as it sat, he's pretty much given his kid the green light to get it on as soon as she's up to it, with only some perceived feelings of love to justify it and make it "OK". And when, or if, she comes home pregnant with no ring nor license to show for it, why, he'll support her and not scold or say "I told you so" which he really couldn't say since he never did.
So here it is again, sex is NOT love. Sex is lust. End of story, really. We attach these lovely notions to the act for the sake of romance and all that, and truly, between spouses, it ain't so bad to do so. But it's a stark lie that society has come to embrace more and more over the years. Sex is a biological act with a specific purpose. The pleasure is a function of that act that ensures the act ever gets done and the species survives. But we have taken that pleasure and made it primary over the true purpose and now what are the consequences? They are many. Among them are:
*Over 40 million abortions since Roe v Wade. Those are of the surgical variety. Untold millions more from chemical abortions due to the use of birth control and morning after pills. A result of putting sex on such a high pedestal that it towers over the value of human life, as the spineless have chosen to redefine when life begins to accomodate their weakness.
*The proliference of STDs, with younger and younger sufferers all the time, including babies born with them due to their parents immaturity, as well as younger girls getting pregnant.
*High divorce rate and the invention of No Fault Divorce.
*The push to normalize abnormal relationships and behaviors.
*The rise in child abuse.
*Rap videos, internet porn and sex as a constant in advertizing, films and TV shows. This just compounds the issue as it gives credence to the nonsense of sex as being as necessary as food or sleep.
I was the subject of ridicule by Geoff and his friends, particularly his sister, the only one besides himself allowed to freely insult to whatever level she desires, for my use of the terms "crotch-centered" and "bastard".
It seems Geoff's grandmother is a bastard (or was it his great-grandmother? I forget. No matter.). Now that sounds harsh based on the common usage of the word today (I'm partial to the term "rat bastard"), but that she was born of two who were not married to each other justifies it's use, since that's the definition of the word. I asked him if he was proud to learn such about his great-grandparents (or was it great-great-grandparents? I forget. No matter.), that they engaged in sex without benefit of marriage. He never really answered the question, and I never implied that he should hate them for it. But that's the route he took and it shows he has no regard for the appropriate time and place for sex as dictated by traditional values and standards. This is where "crotch-centered" come into play. What else would you call someone who is so unwilling to control one's urges? The possibilities are many. Few are endearing.
The point is that engaging in sexual activity carries with it serious consequences. It is the dismissing of those consequences, redefining them, risking them even when acknowledging them, that is the cause of so much suffering in the world. Rather than making the world go 'round, as the romantics among us insist, it serves to make it grind as those consequences manifest when it is abused. When the sexual urge is allowed to define and/or control us, it dimishes us. As Christians, it results in spiritual impurity (and can even within a proper marriage), and as human beings, it makes us very much like animals who are unable to resist their instinctive drive.
The sexual urge is no different than many other urges that should be controlled if we are to call ourselves mature adults. The urge to take what doesn't belong to us, to strike those who offend us, to over eat, to avoid work, to gossip, to eat jello with our hands in the closet. How we respond to our urges demonstrates the level of our character. How our society now responds to the sexual urge has shown our character is lacking.
I challenged Geoffrey for he and his wife to abstain for a month. There's no reason why he should and as a married couple they certainly aren't oblidged. I once suggested it to my wife as a Lenten sacrifice, and she was not up for it. For my part, there's little else that would seem a great sacrifice for such a ritual. But Geoffrey mocked that suggestion as well. OK. Fine. But that he wouldn't even consider it is telling. But it's a sad state of affairs if one can't or won't for such a brief period of time, even to honor one's Lord.
But I've rambled enough. I don't know if I've even made the point I was hoping to make. What I do know is that the consensus opinion of sex is harmful and the evidence is overwhelming that this is so. Mock me if you choose. It won't change the truth of it.